PlasmaSplasm

About a year ago now, in what feels like a completely different lifetime, the boys all bought themselves iPhones. Today, I can’t image their lives without them, they have become so integrated. And I cannot deny that they are handy little things. Even I make use of them. Every time we are watching a show and I know I recognize that actress from somewhere, I just shake the nearest boy and his iPhone comes tumbling into my hands like the ripest peach falling from the loveliest tree in the orchard. (I recognized that actress from Love, Actually, by the way.)

But you would do well to wonder why, then, I don’t have an iPhone of my own. If I know how handy and satisfying they are, it would make sense that I, too, would have one. Well, to answer your question is a somewhat complicated task. You see, at first, I could firmly say that the $600 pricetag put the iPhone well outside of the things-Brooke-can-afford category.

But then there was the magic price-drop. At this point, I was filled with excuses: I like buttons; I like my pink flip phone; I can’t just throw an iPhone in my purse; I like one-touch dialing; my RAZR has internet, too, bitch!; and so on. Mike even repeatedly offered to just buy me one. But I said no. It wouldn’t be worth it because not only was the plan more expensive, but I just plain old didn’t want one.

And then, one inexplicable day, I needed one! I chalk it up to reaching some sort of iPhone saturation point. But there it was, I didn’t even deny it. I WANTED AN iPHONE and I wasn’t afraid to say it.

Now, there was just one thing standing in my way: my contract with T-Mobile.

God dammit! Why do they have to do this to me?! All I want is an iPhone and I literally can’t have one because I didn’t buy my last phone long ago enough. So, yeah, I have to wait until frickin’ August before I can get an iPhone.

In the meantime, I really wanted to take it with me on my two-week trip to Italy with the family that is taking place in June. Ug! Just think of all the cheap e-mailing and map looking-up I could do if I had an iPhone while I was there! I quickly started thinking of alternatives and trying to rationalize spending an extra $200 so I could get out of my contract three months early. The best solution to me seemed to be the iPod Touch. It had all of the features that I really wanted and I wouldn’t have to pay a dime for a plan! Awesome! The only glitch was that I could only use those features where WiFi was accessible. That’s not so bad, I thought. Most of our hotels have WiFi anyway. This could really work!

Mike’s response to this plan: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re stupid. Just take the PSP I bought you. It does all that shit. Now shut up and stop having stupid ideas!”

I guess. I never really believed him about the PSP, but I kind of forgot about it. I mean, I’ve been to Italy a bunch of times an never had and iPhone to use. It would be just like that and I’d make do.

Then, one evening, I came over to the Splasm household because we were all about to go to a party together. Mike asked me to wrap the birthday presents, since I’m so good at it. I looked at the two black boxes sitting on the table. One was a fancy bottle of liquor and one was an iPod Touch.

“You got him an iPod?” I asked, somewhat incredulous.
“Yeah! Ces and I did!” Mike enthused, so proud of his gift.
“Really? An iPod?”
Ces wouldn’t look at me.
“Yeah!” Mike beamed.
“Alright. Where’s the paper?” And I started to rummage through the rolls of wrapping paper.
“You don’t have to wrap it, we can just hand it to him, or something.”
“You plan on walking into a party and just handing the guy an iPod? Don’t you think that’s a little crude? I’m going to wrap it.”
“No, no! Stop!” Mike said. “The iPod’s for you!”
I freeze. Mike and Ces crack up and I stood there frozen.

So, yeah, I have an iPod Touch now. And you know what? It’s awesome! That’s right! I said it! I love my iPod Touch! I take it with me everywhere! It comes to work, it comes to bed, it comes to the store (because you never know where there’s a free WiFi signal just waiting for you to snatch it up!). I wake up in the morning and I check my e-mail; I go to bed and I take one last look at the news before I toss it in my purse. And yes, I can do that because I bought a pretty pink case for it. In the past, we would all sit around the the TV, Mike checking the Cubs score on his iPhone, Ces reading Chud for the fifth time that day on his iPhone, and me actually watching whatever was on. Now, I can be reading Reddit instead of watching TV! Yaaay!

Now, does this mean that I’m done? That I don’t need the iPhone anymore? No way! It just means that (a) until I can get out of my contract, and (b) iPhone 2.0 comes out, I am a completely happy girl! The end.