PlasmaSplasm

Today we went to the “old” Los Angeles Zoo, a zoo a mile south of the operating zoo that’s been abandoned. It was opened in 1914, but wasn’t really maintained and then closed when a bunch of the inmates, scuse me, I mean animals died during World War 1 on account of food rationing and zoo keeper ineptitude.

The pictures are in the post below.

For the website than incited us to find the old LA Zoo in the first place, and for more pictures, click here.

Later that day we went to Gulliver’s, the only Gulliver themed restaurant we’ve ever been too. Pictures are posted after the jump!

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We went into the zoo through what used to be a long, winding water way. Now just huge rocks and rusted pipes.

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I made it into the cash grab machine, halfway through this video you can see Trey, pounding on the glass and shaking the box, attempting to DISTRACT me from gathering the 70 bucks I managed to pull.

haHA.

Brooke, I’ve made an image in response to your statements regarding what the ladies are interested in.

Just try to deny THIS:

First of all, I would like to address the fact, Mike, that I had to find out about your new lady-friend on Plasmasplasm. Someday soon, I’ll have to bring over my laptop so we can all get it on cyber-style. I’m inferring that that is what you are trying to say by these little shenanigans. Well, I just want you to know that I am listening and I am willing to try whatever you want to make this relationship work.

Secondly, I would like to respond to the inference that there might be True.com ads for ladies. I really don’t think so. I think they would be about as common as TV sex phone ads targeted at ladies. Also, even if they tried…ew!

Let’s break it down a bit. Men like boobs. I still don’t know what the equivalent for girls is (and no, it’s not your “package”), so there’s a bit of a marketing problem from the start. When it comes to “chat” line ads on TV, men get Kate from “Lost”. Annoying character, but not a bad-to-look-at girl and she has boobs. No one really knows what to offer the ladies, so we get guys like this:

My reaction to a man like this is: “That’s disgusting!” And besides, no lady in her right mind actually wants to talk to a man that looks like this. I imagine the conversation might go something like this:

Me: Hi.
Hunk: Hello there. My name is Larry. What’s your name.
Me: Br…I mean, Ellen.
Hunk: Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Ellie. Ellie’s a very sexy name. How are you doin’ this evening?
Me: I am very well, thank you. How are you?
Hunk: Oh, I’m doin’ good. I’m a very sweaty and dirty from a hard day’s work at the construction site. I think I’d better take a shower. Care to join me? I’d like it if you’d undress me.
Me: No, thank you. I’ll wait here. I imagine the stink from your feet as I pull of your socks will be pretty pungent; we wouldn’t want to kill the wonderful mood I’m paying you to create.

Anyway, I wouldn’t like it. I guess the conclusion of this posting is to say that, even if there is True.com advertising for ladies, I probably run screaming from it as quickly as I can.

This man is hilarious, not sexy.

Check out some more idiotic ad photos of my fake true.com ad girlfriend!

In these they have her on a couch, so that she can mess around with her cleavage a little bit.

And here she is sucking on some little stick!


We also have the “I’m leaning to show off my boobs” thing going on here. Those guys over at True.com really know what they’re doing. I wonder if this kind of stuff shows up for the ladies on MySpace . . .

do they have dudes in various positions, so as to show off their junk-packages in different contexts?

More as this story develops . . .

Looks like I’m not the only one who’s both offended yet drawn to the true.com fake messaging ads they play on MySpace.

Ze Frank, of “I make funny videos for the internet on a daily basis” fame has a great little video of one of his “private” chats with the True girls. Click here for that.

As soon as I go through the irritation of converting all the screengrabs to a different format, I’ll post more True.com slut pictures. Until then: congrats to Will for getting into the AFI program! I hate you!

I’ve been at The Park for about 20 hours now, and I’ve got a new blog up on the official south park blog

Also: that site has been on digg for a while today, so it’s getting a ton of hits. Which means a bunch of nerdbags are reading my blog today, maybe. Suckers.

Love you all, I’m asleep on my feet.

Mike

Chris over at Achewood was kind enough to post the video of Cesare screaming and being all drunk on his front page. We used Achewood pint and shot glasses to get him there, and there’s much appreciation for the expanded availability of the video on there. Ces is a fame-whore, no matter what antics get him the views.

Check out Achewood, the most consistently consistent comic strip on the web:

www.achewood.com

Mike

Worse Than Vegas Porn Handouts

I have a new girlfriend! Now, I haven’t really met her in person . . .but I’ve video conferenced with her more than a couple times a week for the last couple months.

To be totally honest: I’m not sure we’re in a very stable relationship. I run into her on some sort of video chat service that I didn’t even know my computer was capable of, a service that pops up almost every time I sign out of myspace.com. Here’s a picture of my new gal:

Okay, bitch, now TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT.

Yeah, that’s it. Now fucking type some more.

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